Change your dating life from a tragedy to a romantic comedy
June 22, 2009 by admin
Filed under Dating Advice
Is your dating life stranger than fiction? There was a movie a few years ago starring Will Ferrell that talked about the difference between a tragedy and a romantic comedy. Dustin Hoffman explains to Will’s character that a tragedy ends with someone dying and the romantic comedy ends when the loving couple lives happily ever after. The movie wasn’t so great but the interesting parallel is that most singles often feel like someone else is writing the script for their love life. The secret is that you are the author of your own life’s script and you get to choose how the story ends.
The movie has Will’s character hearing a strange voice in his head describing his every move. He continues in the movie searching for the source of the voice so that he can change his destiny. In real life, the voice you hear that is not in alignment with your highest good is your ego. This part of you sees your life through a lens of what happened before and does not have access to new, creative ideas.
If you listen to this fear-based dialogue, you will always feel powerless in your dating life because you will think there is nothing better than your current experience. Closed off to past limitations, you can feel stuck in perpetual loneliness. The ego does not like change and enjoys the status quo. If you want to shift your dating destiny, the first place to start is with this doubting voice.
A majority of people live with their minds on autopilot and blame outside circumstances and people for their troubles. By knowing that you have the power to rewrite the dialogue that you have in your head, you can take control of your story and amend your experience in your own design. It is your choice – heartache or lasting love.
This sounds easier said than done and I am not going to tell you that you can shift your thinking overnight if you take some magic pill. Changing the course of your thoughts takes patience, perseverance and commitment to transformation. You process millions of thoughts each day and each thought is interconnected with a web of ideas inside your belief system. Like weeds entangled in a garden, you must get to the root to make a real impact.
The roots of your thinking are core beliefs that you hold about yourself, your life and others that keep you in a fixed position. By identifying your core beliefs, you can see the patterns emerge in your life and, only at that point of realization, can you start to shift them. Some common core beliefs are I am stupid, unlovable, alone, not wanted, unworthy, not good enough and so on. This is where the chatter starts and then continues throughout your day, judging every situation through the filter of these ideas.
A woman who believes she is not lovable completely sabotages her dating life. Every time a person does not call her back or breaks up with her, she immediately interprets the situation as occurred because she was not lovable. By continuing this theme in her thinking, she will keep recreating situations that lead to being heartbroken. She cannot attract love unfortunately until she believes on a deep level that she is lovable. This is the story that ends in tragedy. The person doesn’t die, but usually lives her life with unhealthy relationships.
To transform your love life into a romantic comedy, you must first begin to be light-hearted, laugh at your mistakes and love yourself regardless of past actions or hurts. The altered state or trance gives you access to incredible self-love that acts as a healing salve on your emotional wounds. Self-hypnosis is a great way to retrain your mind to access those deeper roots and reframe the beliefs to a more desirable outcome. Just fifteen minutes of relaxing mind programming a day can rewrite the script of your romantic future because the relaxation allows the new ideas to sink in to the deeper levels of your subconscious. By visualizing yourself in love, your inner mind starts to believe it too and you will attract more suitable partners. Most people see a shift in thirty days or sooner.
Remember that you get to choose how your story will end – will you find the love of your life? Fire the ghostwriter. You are the author, you decide.
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