Bad behavior – Witness or Active Participant in Abuse?

There has been so much on the news about the sad, disgusting case of the high school girl who was gang-raped in California while almost twenty people observed the crime. Even though this case is extreme, you can relate to it in your own life if you look at the times when you stood by and allowed a man to take advantage of you. Whether it was a time when you were being pressured into sex or simply putting up with bad behavior from a man who doesn’t call or constantly cheats, you are giving him permission to mistreat you. A part of you was standing by, watching it all unfold and did nothing about it, just like those thugs that night at the homecoming.

When you put up with poor treatment from a man, you are an active participant in his harmful ways. Many women will blame the men for cheating, abusing or lying, but it is the woman who continues to allow him in her life that is also responsible. You can feel that part of you aching and saying “why do I keep attracting guys like this?” or “why do I put up with him?” Often ignored, you may rarely listen to your own inner voice that is really saying, “I deserve so much more.” You continue to stand by and watch yourself be beaten up in love.

You may not be able to change others, but you do have a choice as to who you allow into your life. Every decision you make is a signal to the universe as to what you want. If you keep choosing the bad boys, the universe will keep sending them your way. When you stop becoming a witness and become an active participant in what you want, you begin to draw in people who love and adore you. But we all have free will, so the universe won’t send you something unless you demonstrate that you believe you deserve the best.

Forget about leaving it up to fate or timing, your choices (whether conscious or subconscious) dictate when and where you meet your true love. For some, they wait a lifetime putting up with people that never make them happy and wonder why they have so much pain in their relationships. They look for someone to show up and save them from her own destructive patterns. Someone could have called for help for that girl at the dance and she suffered longer because of it. When will you decide that what is going on is not right?

There will come a time when you can no longer ignore the part of you that loves you unconditionally. She will get louder and louder until you finally wake up and listen. You can save yourself a lot of time and heartache paying attention to her in the first place and being an active participant in your own romantic rescue.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the victim, family and friends. She deserved better and so do you.