Hopelessly Single
October 8, 2007 by admin
Filed under Dating Advice
My coupled friends used to always give me reassurance that "my guy was on his way." I tried to believe them but, after six years without a serious relationship, a strong sense of hopelessness was churning inside. After years of feeling sorry for myself, I started to live my life without him and make the best of my single status. I stopped combing the bars with my single friends and just relaxed. I took myself on romantic getaways, cooked delicious meals for one and even got back into my writing.
Though counterintuitive, becoming hopeless actually allows more to open up to you. When you are hoping for someone to come into your life, you are reinforcing the idea that life is not complete unless a man is included in the package. When your true love arrives, your life will not be better… just different. You will still be you with all of your stuff, and no man can fix or heal you. By putting so much pressure on outside influences to please you, you end up experiencing more fear and desperation. I am not telling you to stop believing that you can have a healthy relationship, but asking you to let go of when and how it shows up.
Relinquishing the details of your destiny to the universe, you can be free and hopeless at the same time. Becoming hope-less is a powerful way to experience the moment, not wishing it looked any different. You are already complete. The guy is just the sweet icing on the cake if you wait until your stomach settles and you are ready for desert.
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